Three Documentaries To Make You Think

For this post, I thought I would talk about something that I've been enjoying a lot lately; documentaries.

My mum is the kind of person that is always watching interesting documentaries, and we always end up having conversations about them. After deciding I want to study Sociology at university, I thought I should start watching things like that to help me to start thinking about society and the way things work more. So I started to watch documentaries, and I found all of them very interesting. I thought I would share a bit about the ones I find particularly interesting with you guys :)

Please let me know if you have seen any of these and let me know if there are any documentaries I should watch!

GirlHood

I really enjoyed this one. I always find these types of documentaries interesting when they follow young people who have gotten involved in crime, like the ones where they send kids who have gotten into a lot of trouble to prison for the day to make them realise where they could end up.

This documentary follows two girls in America who are serving time in a Juvenile system and it tells the stories of how they got to where they are. It was interesting to see just how people's backgrounds and things that happen to them can influence the things they do and it makes me wonder that if it wasn't for those circumstances, would they have acted differently?

TalHotBlond

TalHotBlond really got me thinking now. It made me realise that you can't trust people on the internet so easily because you don't know who they really are. You could think you're talking to someone the same age as you, but they could turn out to be some random person who is making up everything you think you know about them.

This documentary looks at the story of three people, a 48-year-old man, a girl who we are led to believe is 18 years old and a man who was murdered.
The story starts when 48-year-old Thomas Montgomery starts playing online casino games that also have chat rooms. This is where he meets the user Talhotblond. An 18-year-old girl. As they begin to talk, he realises that she wouldn't want to talk to a 48-year-old man, so he pretends to be a young marine. They go on to have an almost two-year romance. This is until his wife finds out and write a letter telling the girl exactly who he is. Once this had happened, Talhotblond started talking to one of Montgomery's co-workers, and she starts to play with both of them. The co-workers, who were once friends were no longer friends and led to a real life murder. Montgomery murdered his co-worker.

So you may think that this is where the story ends, but it doesn't end there. The most shocking bit comes at the end, and I think this is the most disturbing and frightening part of this whole story. The 18-year-old girl was never the one talking to Montgomery. I won't tell you who the girl was, you will have to watch to find out, but it is incredibly shocking.

I don't want to say too much more because I feel you need to watch it to be able to think about it properly. But this is the documentary that really stuck with me and me question how much trust I put in people who I meet online. This is definitely worth the watch!

West Of Memphis

Out of all the documentaries I watched, I think this one had to be the one that I found most interesting. It was also very shocking to see how this happens to so many innocent people in America. It stuns me how murderers are getting away with such hideous crimes and how it's becoming common that people are wrongly accused.

This documentary follows The West Memphis Three, three men (or boys, as they were so young when they were arrested) who were accused of brutally killing three young boys. The accused were Damien Echols, Jessie Misskelly, and James Baldwin. Echols was even sentenced to death by lethal injection. They were accused of killing the three young boys as part of a Satanic ritual. Why were they accused of this? Because they were different to other people. They didn't do the same things everyone else did, and they were from poorer backgrounds. Obviously being different means they must be brutal murderers
*insert eye roll here*.

They were released in 2011 after evidence showed that they were not linked to the boys in any way whatsoever. When you watch the documentary, the story of what happened is really surprising regarding some of the marks that were found on the young boys. And the revelation of who actually murdered them is heart breaking. The thing that struck me most with this documentary is that this always happens to the lower class people. Just like in Making a murderer, these boys were poor, and it disgusts me just what money can let people get away with. Another thing again that disgusts me is how they take advantage of people, in this documentary they did the same thing they did to Brendan Dassey, they manipulated a confession out of someone who wasn't mentally all there. I don't understand how people can get away with this kind of stuff. I highly recommend watching this, it is really, really interesting.

I hope you guys like this, I know I enjoy writing it. I will definitely be writing posts like this again in the future. What other documentaries should I watch? Let me know in the comments.

P.S, all of these can be found on Netflix.

NutriBullet Smoothies - My first creation

Georgia here and I'm really excited for this post because this smoothie recipe is amazing and I'm really excited to share it.

What will you need?

• Spinach
• Bananas
• Strawberries
• Blueberries
• Raspberries
• Water
• Flax seeds and goji berries (Optional, but I thought it was a good touch. Did you know that 30g of flax seeds contains the same amount of antioxidants as 60 cups of Broccoli? Or 100 slices of whole wheat bread!? Its crazy!)

Here's how to make the smoothie -

1. Place two handfuls of spinach into the blender. This smoothie contains 50% greens and 50% fruit. 50% of spinach is about two handfuls.
2. Now you can add the fruit. Half the banana, chop the heads of the strawberries and throw in the blueberries and raspberries.
3. Now you add the flax seeds. Measure out 30g of the flaxseed and goji berry mix (I got a bag of this from Holland and Barret) and sprinkle it on top of the smoothie mix.
4. Finally, add in water up to the max line of the nutribullet cup, or until the ingredients are covered. Once they are covered you can attach the blade and blend!

I really hope you guys enjoy this recipe, I think it tastes amazing. Will definitely be sharing more recipes when I start trying new things. What's your favourite smoothie combo? Let me know in the comments!

Hello, 2017.

Hi blog,

Long time no see! I've been thinking about writing again for a long time now and now I have the motivation to come back and 2017 will be the year where I start blogging regularly. There's so many exciting things going on in my life right now and I would love to write about them.

As the new year approaches I find myself feeling really excited. Usually I don't look forward to the new year starting, it never really feels any different. But this year I feel different, this is the year I'm going to put myself out there, enjoy myself more, stop worrying and finally do the things I've said I'm going to do like eat healthy and exercise more. 2017 hasn't even started yet but I can feel that it's going to be a good year. I'm turning eighteen, I'm going to university in September and I just feel like its going to be a good year. I can't wait to see what 2017 holds for me. I know that I'm just going to have fun, I'm not going to worry as much, I'm not going to overthink. I'm just going to have fun and enjoy life.

I also feel really motivated with getting healthy. I got a Nutribullet for Christmas and I've been reading up on their six week transformation plan and it sounds amazing. I haven't felt motivated to eat and do better in a long time but after receiving this gift I feel motivated and its a really nice feeling to have. I'm going to eat better and be more active. I also got a Fitbit for Christmas and I'm determined to reach my step goal everyday. I won't beat myself up if I have treats or whatever, it happens. I'm just going to try and do better but still enjoy life. I plan on sharing this kind of stuff on my blog. In fact, I'm starting today and will be sharing my favourite smoothie recipe so far with you all.

As I reflect on 2016 I realise that I am really, really happy. Possibly the happiest I've ever been. I have awesome family, friends, a job and the things to come in 2017 are so, so exciting. Who knows where I'll be this time next year. I can't wait to find out.

So hello 2017, I can't wait to see you.

Why won't companies take a chance on young people?

If you're a teenager and looking for a job then I have a feeling you will be able to relate to this blog post.

As I'm now approaching the end of my first year of college I feel like I'm ready for a job. I now know the kind of work to expect from college and I feel like I can now manage my work and a job. 

I first started looking for jobs just after I started college last year. I didn't have any luck then but shrugged it off, thinking that I will put my focus onto my college work and I would look next year. Now I've started to apply for jobs again. All I hear is one thing. No, no, no and no. Why? Because I don't have any experience. This is beginning to make me angry because no where will take a chance on young people like myself. I know I'm not the only one and it isn't fair. We are trying to get experience but how can we when no one will take a chance? I have applied for so many different places over the past few months and it's starting to get me down. It's like we're not given a chance because we don't have experience but how are we suppose to get experience when no one will take a chance? I do have some experience due to having to complete 30 hours of work placement for my course but it's obviously not enough.

It makes me not want to bother because getting no's every single time is just making my hope disappear. Why don't companies take a chance on us when they can pretty much mold young people like myself into whatever they want?

I don't know if it's the same in the rest of the country but I know it's like this in Worksop and even in some of Sheffield.

What are young people suppose to do to get onto the career ladder? If you have any tips or advice or know of any companies that would take a young person on part time then please comment because I would love to know.

Thanks,
Chronicles xox

YouTubers: Idols or Glorified Sales people?

In recent years the popularity of YouTube has sky rocketed, with a new breed of celebrity emerging, many of those being in what is now called 'Team Internet'. Many YouTube stars are now bringing out their own products, getting book deals and even going on tour. To many people, mostly parents, this is an incredibly shocking thing. How can people make money from just sitting behind a camera, talking about themselves, different products (that tend to be too expensive for most viewers) they have (possibly items brands have sent them) and playing games and talking about them? This now leads me to the question, Are YouTubers idols or just glorified sales people?


Many of today's YouTubers have an influence of today's young people, more so than they would have on young people five or six years ago. Many of today's youtubers give off a squeaky clean image, as if they are the most perfect people who never do anything wrong. Examples of YouTubers would be people such as Zoella, Niomi Smart and Alfie Deyes. There are many more of them. This is a brilliant thing because these YouTubers are giving a positive influence to young people and they're also making young people aware of problems such as anxiety and are helping them to find ways to over come and help them to deal with the anxiety. They also support charities and do things like auction off a pair of shoes or take part in a twelve hour broadcast for the Stand Up To Cancer event. Now although they do all these good things there is a side to it where they could possibly be taking advantage of us young people. In a way, we pay for their living, their life that is very obviously full of luxuries. Many of their videos are based around products they have have, which are likely to have been sent to them, some of these costing a lot of money. Money that many young people don't have. By talking about these many of their viewers will want the product, just because that particular person spoke about it. This in turn is earning them money as well as making other companies money. So are they just glorified sales people who also share parts of their lives that they want to? When they bring out their own products they also ask you to go and buy it, which many people do just because of the fact that it's a product made by that person. The products usually aren't cheap either. This makes the YouTubers lots of money and allows them to buy houses reaching into the millions price wise as well as many other luxuries. That's money that many of us will most likely never have. So are YouTubers these lovely, normal people who can be brilliant idols to young people or are they glorified sales people who take advantage of their fans to build their own fortune? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

P.S, this isn't my opinion, I just want to see what other people think. 

Pear Shape Book Review

Hey guys. I recently read a book that I enjoyed so I thought I would do a review. Hope you enjoy :)

Books like Pear Shaped are my favourites. It's the type of book that makes you laugh, smile and cry and it's also so good that you don't want to put it down until you've read at least another chapter. 

Pear Shaped, written by Stella Newman,  follows the life of Sophie Klien, a pudding developer from London. It tells the story of how Sophie falls in love with Mr right but realises that Mr right isn't so right after all. Sophie meets a guy in a bar on a Friday night and at first he seems perfect and they have everything in common but as time goes on we realise that  James, the guy from the bar, isn't so perfect. He has money and thinks that he can do what ever he wants because of that. He's in his forties and wants someone half his age who looks a certain way. He wants someone who's stick thin and doesn't eat much at all. He even goes as far as telling her how he likes her but he doesn't think he can settle for someone who looks like her, someone who isn't a model. Sophie struggled with this a lot and at first she thought she should be the one to change. She lost her confidence for while but she got it back and realised that she deserved better. 

 It made me realise just how important it is to love  yourself and do what you love. No man should tell you what you can and can't do.I like how Sophie realises that in the end and that she doesn't let him ruin her life completely. She picks herself back up and finds someone who will love her for her. 

Another great thing about this story is learning more about the dessert industry and how it all works. I also like that Sophie goes on to do something she loves and sticks to what she thinks is good instead of listening to her sleazy boss. 

Overall I think this was a good book but towards the end after Sophie and James had split it dragged a lot and I must admit I did only skim through some parts. Even though the book did drag towards the end it did give an important lesson that I think a lot of readers can learn from. 
I did enjoy the book but it wasn't one of my favourites. 

What's the last book you read? Recommend me some good books with an element of romance in them in the comments :) 

Nutella Recipes

Hey guys so I've been loving nutella lately and lots of it. So I thought I might try some different ways of eating it. I found these recipes  that are amazing and thought I would share them. I hope you enjoy. Share your favourite recipes below :) 

This recipe is for a nutella hot chocolate, it's easy and delicious and only uses a few ingredients. 

You will need: 
Milk
nutella
Cream 
Marshmallows 
A mug 
A pan

Step one:
Fill up your mug with milk. I usually fill my mug up pretty close to the top but I leave enough room to add in cream later on. Once you have got your milk in your mug go ahead and pour it into your pan.

Step two:
Turn the heat on and stir the milk with a wooden spoon until it's just starting to get hot. Once its hot grab your nutella and add two tablespoons to the milk.

Step three: 
Stir the milk and nutella mixture until the nutella has melted. Once it has melted pour the hot chocolate into your mug.

Step four:
This is the best part, adding the cream and marshmallows. You can pretty much do what you like with this. I added on a load of cream with mini marshmallows.

Step 5:
ENJOY 

Now this recipe didn't go as it was suppose to. They were suppose to be fudgy and chewy but instead they're cakey and crispy. (In a good way) I was kind of glad they went wrong because they turned into whoopie pie style things. And what makes this even better is that you only need four ingredients!

What you will need: 

1/2 a cup plus one tablespoon of flour 
1 extra large egg
1 cup of nutella 
1 tsp of baking powder 
Nutella to add into the middle 

Step one :
Add all ingredients into a bowl and then mix together until it forms a dough that has no visible egg or flower in it. 

Step two: 
Take pieces of dough and roll them into little balls. Don't make them too big and try and make them the same sizes. Once you've done that put them onto a greased baking tray and then put into the oven. You know they're done when they're light brown with little cracks on the top (you will see what I mean in the finished picture) 
Extra tip, when you're rolling the balls put a little bit of oil or cooking spray on your hands to stop the dough from sticking to your hands.

Step three:
Once cooled turn them over on the tray and match each cookie up to another one of a similar size. 

Step four:
Spread a little bit of nutella on one of the flat sides of a cookie and then sandwich with another cookie. Once you've done that sprinkle a little icing sugar on top and you're all done!

I hope you like these and be sure to share pictures if you try them! 

Advent Calendars 2015

It's that time of year again where the shelves are beginning to be stocked with advent calendars. And these are usually full of cheap chocolate that none of us really want to eat. They are also aimed at children. In recent years it seems like big brands have seen a gap in the market for advent calendars aimed at a bigger demographic, beauty lovers. Many big beauty brands have decided to offer advent calendars full of mini (or even full) products for either 12 or 25 days. Brands such as No7, Benefit, Lush and The Body Shop are just some of the brands offering these beauty advent calendars. There are also calendars out there providing things like 25 days of Yankee Candles or 25 days of different teas. 

This year, I have decided to go for the Boots No7 25 Days of Beauty Wonders calendar. It is £38 ($57) but it is worth £148 ($223) and I think it is a bargain, my makeup bag is going to be topped up for a while! 

Not only is the calendar presented really well, the items inside it are brilliant. 

Here is what you get inside the calendar:

•  No7 Lip Crayon Delicate Pink 1.4g

•  No7 Mini BB Lip Blink Pink 5ml

•  No7 Shine & Tint Lip Gloss 4ml

•  No7 Skin Illuminator Peach 10ml

•  No7 Stay Perfect Nail Colour 4ml Mememe

•  No7 Gel Look Shine 4ml Pillarbox

•  No7 Nail Effects Sun Rays 4ml

•  No7 Mini Eye Shadow 1.5g top shade moonlight shadow

•  No7 Mini Eye Shadow 1.5g bottom shade forest fruits

•  No7 Extravagant Volume Waterproof Mascara Black 7ml

•  No7 Lovely Lashes Mascara Black 7ml

•  No7 Stay Perfect Amazing Eyes Pencil Bronze 1.2g

•  No7 Stay Perfect Amazing Eyes Pencil Black 0.8g

•  No7 Stay Perfect Amazing Eyes Pencil Brown 0.8g

•  No7 Eye Lash Curler

•  No7 Smokey Eye Brush

•  No7 Airbrush Away Primer 10ml

•  No7 Beautiful Skin Eye Make Up Remover 30ml

•  No7 Radiance Revealed Exfoliator 15ml

•  No7 Youthful Eye Serum 7ml

•  No7 Protect & Perfect Intense Advanced Intense Day Cream 25ml

•  No7 Protect and Perfect Intense Advanced Night Cream 25ml

•  No7 Protect & Perfect Intense Hand Cream Day 10ml

•  No7 Beautiful Skin Blissful Body Wash 50ml

•  No7 Beautiful Skin Perfecting Body Polish 50ml


I think it's brilliant to get so many products for such a cheap price. This is also good 
compared to The Body Shop because theirs is incredibly expensive and it is also the same price, if not cheaper than Benefit's and you get more products. I would highly recommend this product! 


Here are some other cool advent calendars available this year:

Lush: 12 Days Of Christmas 

The Body Shop Advent Calendar 2015

Yankee Candle Reindeer Carousel Advent Calendar 

Ciate Mini Mani Month Advent Calendar

Do you get an advent calendar for December? What are you going for this year? let me know in the comments. 

BE YOURSELF

BE YOURSELF 

Being yourself is a challenge many people face. It can be one of the hardest challenges people may come across. Growing up I have always been taught to be myself and this is something I am thankful for. Being yourself is not an easy thing, especially for teenagers. To fit in we have to think of how we should act, what people should expect and many people fear that if they don't act how their friends want then they won't be accepted. Many people put on a mask everyday just to fit in and feel like they belong. Don't be how other people want you to be, be you and be happy. In years to come you might look back to when you were younger and think about how you wish you had been yourself. Being yourself is not an easy thing, it will be easier to put that mask on every morning before you go to school and act in a way you know you really hate but being yourself will make you happier, you don't have to worry about letting your guard down or panicking if you have said something your friends won't like. At times myself I have thought will things be easier if I act like other people and change myself for them. Will it be easier? probably, yes. Will I be happier? No. Don't change yourself for anyone, if they don't like you the way you are then they aren't worth your time. Take this risk to make yourself happier. It may be hard but you have to love yourself and who you are. So I challenge you to be who you are, to be real with yourself. Just enjoy not having to worry about anyone or anything and just be comfortable with who you are. I hope that if you are reading this it might offer you a bit of comfort and make you realise that you a perfect just the way you are.

Thank you for reading, 
xo xo, 
Chronicles. 

'Be yourself; everyone else is already taken'

Oscar Wilde. 

The Tale Of A Devil

I had to write this for my English work a while back and I'm pretty proud of it so I thought I would put it here. Enjoy :)

I could hear the scraping suitcases and laughter from where I was stood on the old landing. I moved so I was stood next to the banister and thought to myself ‘’should I go down?’’

‘’Ava?’’ someone called. I quickly peered over the banister before slowly sneaking back into the shadows, letting out a sigh of frustration when the floor board creaked. Deciding to ignore the unknown caller of my name I slowly retreated back to the small room I had been staying in, remembering that I had been without the beautiful rose pendant. I reached my hand up to my neck, suddenly feeling like part of me was missing. As I entered the room I slammed the door behind me and ran to the bed, throwing the pillows and covers off as I searched for the source of my existence. A movement catches the corner of my eye and I stand, eyes roaming to see who the intruder was. The window was wide open. Dread filled my entire body as I realised the pendant was gone. My time was up. I move to the mirror, feeling as if I am floating and stop, my eyes looking into shiny surface. Looking back at me was the person I had been running from. Cold, captivating eyes, long, luscious, dark hair, skin as pale as snow. This was the face of evil. I am the angel of darkness. The lights flicker as a bone crunching sound can be heard through the room as wings sprout from my back. Feather by feather they turned black. A demon was born.

I hope you guys enjoy this. All of the credit for this goes to me, I wrote this myself and it is my work so please don't steal or anything like that because I spent a lot of time on this. 

Let me know what you think!

xo xo, 

Chronicles. 

Soap and Glory: Review

For Christmas last year my mama (grandma) got me the massive Soap and Glory box set that had been on offer in Boots (for you Americans that's like a drug store I think, it sells perfumes, makeup, shower stuff and so on) and I have been loving a lot of the products that came with it. Because I love them so much I thought that I would make an blog post about it so you can try them out.
What's your favourite S&G product? Let me know in the comments! 

Also if you're from the UK and have a family member who loves Soap and Glory, keep an eye at on the Boots Christmas offers (when it comes, obviously) because my mama got this for about £20! 

Daily Youth:

This face scrub was something that actually didn't come in box that I got from Christmas. I thought, well, I have all of this stuff to make my body smell all nice and feel soft. I might as well treat my skin as the rest of my body, right? 
So I went to Boots myself and picked this up. I use this every time I go in the shower and it makes my face feel soft and clean. It is strange texture when I put it on my face because it lathers up like your shower gel would but I personally like that because you can't feel all the little exfoliating beads (I think that's what they are? I'm not too sure what they are called) 
This product is for all skin types so any of you can try it out :) 
I can tell that there is a big difference in my skin since I started to use this so I would recommend it to anyone. Just moisturise after and your skin will be lovely and soft. 

Whipped Clean:

I have been in love with this product since I first used it. I wasn't too sure what it was at first but it's a shower butter/gel type of thing. It really does live up to it's name as I think the texture and look of it when you put it into your hand actually does look like whipped cream. That's another thing I love about S&G, their play on words. Anyway, back to the product. It has a really sweet scent and I couldn't work out what it was until I read the bottle and it says that it's a pistachio, almond and sweet vanilla scent. It honestly smells heavenly, I wish you guys could smell it! 
It makes my skin feel lovely as well as smell nice and it is also the perfect thing to use when shaving your legs as it says on the back of the bottle. I would definitely suggest that you invest in this product as it is heavenly. 

Sexy Mother Pucker:

Sexy Mother Pucker wins the crown for my favourite lip gloss/lacquer of all time. When I looked through the contents of the box I was really happy that it came with two makeup items. One of them was a Sexy Mother Pucker lip gloss in the shade Charm Offensive. At first I wasn't too sure about the colour but as soon as I tried it on I knew that I liked it. The colour is a really nice brownish-pink and has a really nice gloss finish to it. My only criticism for this is that it can get on your teeth pretty easily. My favourite thing about this is probably the brush, it seems to be thinner than other lip gloss brushes and it's really easy to use. 
Lucky for me my mum had another one of these Sexy Mother Puckers in another shade. This one was in the shade Punch Bowl. This is a fabulous pink colour and the bottle is gorgeous. 
The key difference between Punch Bowl and Charm Offensive is that Punch Bowl has more of a plumping effect. They are both meant to do that but I can see it and also feel it more with the Punch Bowl lacquer. I will be buying this again for sure. 
I would definitely recommend this to you if you want a nice colour and a little plump. 

Hope you enjoy,
xo xo, 
Chronicles. 

The Hardest Decision I Ever Made.

The hardest decision I ever made.

The hardest decision I have had to make is whether or not I should say goodbye to my Aunty before she passed away. Should I go and see Aunty Nen and say goodbye? Should I go and see Aunty Nen in the hospice? Should I go to the funeral? 

The choice I made was to go and say goodbye to my aunty, my dad’s older sister. My Aunty Nen (her name was actually Helen but I called her Nen as I couldn’t say Helen when I was younger!) had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and it began making its deadly consequences known in the later months of the year 2010.
In the December of that year we made the yearly Christmas trip to Sheffield, this time earlier than we had planned. We wanted to be as close as possible to Aunty Nen and family so we could be there if something happened.

On a cold December morning my Dad and I drove from the small village I was staying in with my parents and grandparents to  the small village my aunty lived in. This was the first time I was going to see Aunty Helen since the cancer had taken a big toll on her. At the time I was feeling scared, I didn’t know what to expect as I had never encountered someone who was dying and had never seen the true effect of what such an awful disease could have on a person. That day I was wrapped up nice and warm as it was now winter. I was wearing a big puffy black coat with a blue checkered shirt and a pair of dark jeggings.

Once me and my dad arrived at the house we had been in many times before I truly began to feel a little scared. I didn’t know how I should act. How does one act in this type of situation?
Upon entering the house I decided I was just going to act like myself, just be the happy smiley person I usually was. I can remember entering the large living room. Aunty Nen was on one of the big brown sofas up against the back wall of the room. When I saw her I was a little shocked. I didn’t know what to expect but I was not expecting this. Her skin was as pale as a ghost, her cheeks had sunken in almost as if the disease was slowly sucking the life out of her. Her hair was not the bright orangey red I was used to.
My dad and Aunty Nen’s older brother, my uncle John was also there. I remember laughing and spinning around, showing how much I had grown in the year since I had last seen them.

After the visit me and dad went back to the car and I wasn’t too sure how to feel. It was all incredibly overwhelming. I had a little cry in the car before we headed back to Sheffield to spend the rest of the day with my mum and grandparents.

The day it’s self was incredibly strange. I didn’t know how to act. For the rest of the day me, my mum, dad, mama and Granddad went out to try and keep our minds off of what was happening.

In the months leading up to this even,  aunty Nen’s health had begun to get worse after she was told her cancer was terminal. I can remember that she was in and out of the hospice for a few months before we went up in the December. I can remember asking my dad about how she was when I got in the car after a day at school. I had just started my first year in secondary school.

At the time this was all happening I was eleven years old. I had just started year seven in secondary school and this all sort of seemed surreal. I’m not sure if this was because of the distance but it almost felt like this was happening in a dream. I can remember things just going on as normal, we all worried about Nen and if something was going to happen but I still went to school as normal. I was just the same girl I always had been but this sad cloud was looming over the family.

When this was all taking place I didn’t know how I was meant to feel. This is the first death of family member where I was truly able to understand what was happening. I was unsure of the choice I wanted to make – I didn’t want the image I held of my aunty to be one that frightened me but I also didn’t want to regret not saying goodbye when I would never get the chance again.

I had hope in my heart that this was going to be a passing thing and she would be one of the lucky people that defy the odds and move on with their lives although she had already beaten the disease once. I wanted her to be ok for not only myself, but for my dad and his other siblings, my nana and granddad and also her husband and two young sons. It made me feel incredibly sad for my cousins, Tom and Max. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to watch your mum go through something like that. It’s heartbreaking.

Although being at the other end of the country sort of sheltered me from it. It was like I could forget what was happening and almost pretended that it wasn’t happening. It was like it was taking place in another world or happening to someone who wasn’t me. I am quite thankful for the space because it was easier to distract myself from what was going on.

Looking back at the sad time now I am happy with the choice I made. I know if I hadn’t gone to see her I would regret it. I also attended the funeral and it was something I was surprised with. Although the ceremony was sad and I can remember sobbing through most of it, it was actually a day to celebrate and remember Aunty Nen’s life. We had a bit of a doo at her favourite pub after and it was like she was there. I felt wrong for enjoying it.

Being in this situation has made me realise that people don’t last forever, at some point we are all going to die. This is something that frightens me, even to this day. The thought of losing the people I love most makes me feel incredibly sad and it also makes me wish I could find a way to make people live forever. If I had to go back and experience this all again I would have gone to see her more. I only saw her three times before she died and now I wish I had gone to see her more. I am glad that I did get to tell her I loved her one last time though and I will never regret this hard decision.

I am thankful for this experience as it prepared me for the fact I might have to do it again, and I have. This time I didn’t go to see the family member. My Great Granddad’s death was completely different to my Aunty Nen, she was still herself even though she didn’t look like the Nen we all remembered.  My great Grandad Vin was a body shaped shell with a beating heart.  His death was sudden and completely unexpected.  I know if I had seen him it would have been completely different to my experience with Aunty Nen.

I know now that  every last minute with a family member counts, you never know when something is going to happen and I now want to make as many memories as possible with my family so I have many more happy memories to look back on when the time for them to go arrives.

Models Own review!

Hey guys! this week I thought I would tell you a little bit about a beauty brand I have recently come across. I have known about models own for a good couple of years but for some reason I have never tried them out. So recently I have become a little bit obsessed with nails and nail varnish so on my trip to Meadowhall in  I was prepared to go into boots and spend a load on nail varnish but before I got anywhere near I noticed this:

It's a stall that sells practically every models own product, it was amazing! Not only did they have a load of nail varnishes, makeup and brushes they had a brilliant offer on as well. I got six items for £20 (34.14 us dollars for you Americans) and I was very impressed, usually the nail varnishes are a fiver a piece! So what I thought I would do is do a review for each of the times and show you some pictures (I have no picture of the eyeliner because I can't do eyeliner properly, I end up looking like a pirate or something!)

Also don't forget to tell me what your favourite  products are in the comments!

Lipstick:

I love this item. It was originally meant to be my mums but when we got home and she tried it on it was a bit too pink for her liking so she decided to give it to me. I tried it on and instantly loved it. Usually I'm not one for putting things on my lips because half of the time I have an urge to wipe it off my lips but this actually felt nice on. The colour lasted for ages and it just needed the occasional touch up. I would definitely recommend this item! Another unique thing about it is that it comes like those perfume sticks that you twist up? I much prefer that shape to proper lipstick. If you want to try this colour out it's the Models own Lip Stix in the shade beauty blush.It is £5 (8.45 US dollars) per stick so I think it is well worth the money. 

Lip Gloss: 

This has got to be my favourite thing out of everything that I got from the stand. It is a lovely pinky colour that is more gloss than colour so you can just put some on when you want a bit of something on your lips but nothing too much. The best thing about this is that it has a really nice scent. When you rub your lips together you get a really nice, scent/taste (like when you have flavoured lip balm) and it's just so nice! I think it's a rose scent because the lip gloss is called Madame Rose and it is so nice! It also feels nice on, it's not too sticky and just genuinely feels nice. I would also recommended adding some of this to the lip stix to give it a bit of shine and extra  colour. This also costs £5 (8.45 US dollars) and I think it is a great price. It also looks really nice, I especially love the lid. 

Glitter nails:

I bought two of these Mirrorballs and they are amazing. I got two, freak out (the blue lid) and boogie nights. (purple lid) I looked at them and I liked how they looked and I have recently been using some cheap glitter nail varnish and they looked a lot better quality and looked a lot more glittery so I thought I would give it a go. I was glad that I did because I used them to paint my nails when I was going out with family and I got a  few compliments on them. With this you can either use a colour base coat or go for just the glitter on it's own. I tried it with just the glitter the first time I tried it and it looked brilliant. I put on a layer let it dry and then added another, making sure to get plenty of glitter on there. I also mixed both colours and I was incredibly happy with the result, it was just right. Not to much and not too little. These are £5 (8.45 US dollars) each and I think they are well worth it, it's good quality and it adds a bit of sparkle to your nails. If you were to buy this I would recommend  waiting until it's completely dry and use thin layers because it does go tacky if you use to much but apart from that it would be worth it.
 

Sticky Fingers

This was one of the three nail varnishes that I bought and I think it's a really nice idea. You get a nail varnish and depending on what colour nail varnish you get you get a set of nail stickers to go with it. I chose sticky fingers bows. It's a pale pink nail varnish with lots of little bow stickers and I think it's a really fun way to spice up your nails and they also look really cute. They cost £6 (10.25 US dollars) and I think that's well worth it because you get the nail varnish and the stickers. The nail varnish is also a good quality but I would say do two thin layers and make sure each nail is dry before you add on the stickers.

Eye Liner:

I liked this one especially since it was a free gift we got given. Me, my mum and my mama got one each. I love eyeliner and would love to wear it more but I fail miserably at it, I end up looking like a clown or something when I attempt to do it. I did sort of apply it right but it was still not good enough for a picture. I really liked it, I thought it gave a good cover and went on quite easily. I don't really have any knowledge on what a good eyeliner or not so I can't really recommended it but the proper version of this would be £4 (6.83 US dollars) and if you buy the actual one  it has a smudge tool on top as well as a genius sharpener so I would say it is good value for money. 

 I hope you enjoyed this! Don't forget to comment what your favourite product is. If you haven't used anything models own just say what your favourite nail varnish is! Also feel free to leave me some recommendations! 

Hope you enjoy, 
xo xo, 
Chronicles.